The Lifestyle You Ordered

by | Aug 16, 2019

The lifestyle you ordered is currently out of stock

our warehouse has been stripped of supplies

our people are working around the clock

be sure to remember your size


The lifestyle you ordered has had a slight change

we’ve just had to hike up the price

Unfortunately we are unable to exchange

before purchase you should always check twice


The lifestyle you ordered is experiencing delays

There’s nothing more we can do

We’ll try and alert you in a couple of days

when we’ll all have much more of a clue


The lifestyle you ordered is waiting on parts

The supplier can’t give us a date

Your warranty excludes these stops and these starts

we’re sorry if your lifestyle is late


The lifestyle you ordered has hit a bit of a glitch

it appears that the edges are frayed

We have our experts checking every stitch

please be patient if you’ve already paid


The lifestyle you ordered seems to have hit a snag

our schedule has fallen behind

We’d just like to assure you, though we don’t like to brag

That this lifestyle is the best you will find


The lifestyle you ordered has just run aground

we’re launching a rescue tonight

we’d really appreciate you not hanging around

just in case things get awkward or tight


The lifestyle you ordered appears to have expired

It unfortunately ran out of hope

Our plan was to have it before you retired

we’re sorry you’ll just have to cope

© copyright – Stephen Newman 2019

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17 August 2019 9:07 AM

This poem could be very original and amusing if it wasn’t so accurate

25 August 2019 7:05 PM

Love your work SN! Could it be lyrics to your next original guitar and harp work?